January has felt full and slow.
I’ve been holding both the energy of this time of year from the outside society (resolutions, new beginnings, get to work) while holding the energy that this time of year naturally holds inside my body (slow, dark, rest). It’s been challenging.
I’ve been giving time to close out 2024 as well as trying to meet what's here right now, without propelling too far ahead into the future. Sometimes it feels easy and graceful, other times I feel like I'm upside down and inside out.
Last year at this time I had just finished a retreat in Taos where I had come to a beautiful place in my life where I was creating my new story. I was deeply in love and settled into a home we had made together. I was energized by all the possibilities that lay ahead. I had dreams of marriage and children.
It’s crazy that was only a year ago. A lot happened in 2024. I’ve been talking with friends about it and they all use the word growth, and not the easy sweet kind of growth, but more like the regrowing of bones in Harry Potter from Madam Pomfrey’s Skele-Gro.
My heart is still healing from the story I thought I was writing. The unknown of what lies ahead at times feels thrilling and at other times it feels like the deepest pit of despair.
I’ve been working with the deep longing I hold to share my life with someone. How when I hold that in a contracted shape in my body it feels like “it will never happen for me.” My shoulders slump, my chest is heavy and defeated. When I open that shape up (moving, breathing, sounding, doing this work) I can hold that longing differently, so it has space to breathe. I can feel how much it opens my heart instead of shutting it down. Same desire, different shape. In this shape it is freely moving through me, in the other, it is wrapped around my history, hurts, and fears.
This is a lot of what we are exploring in The Practice Space this month and next. It’s challenging but important.
Another thing I’ve been noticing since October, when I did another level of in-depth Bodywork training and from my personal practice with this breakup, is how deep and rich my medicine and work in this world is becoming. I get to have these profound experiences with people in my that truly feel like it heals a piece of this world. I get to watch people remember who they are, both in the 1:1 work and in my group classes. I feel so lucky.
This led me to look back at my work this last year to practice celebrating what I HAVE done, instead of focusing on where things feel lacking, here are the highlights.
I taught around 100 classes
I did around 250 1:1 sessions
I did over 100 hours of continuing education in my field
I assisted with 1 retreat :)
Those numbers feel small and big at the same time. They show me how devoted I am to my life’s work and how much more of it I want to share with the world.
My word for 2025 is Rooted, it kept coming to me and I kept trying to find another one :) Finally, I was sitting in the sauna one day and my body told me why the word kept coming. It wasn’t rooted in the way I thought. It was about rooting into my knowing. The knowing and trust that got shaken by my last relationship. The weakness I spoke about in this Instagram post. I’m afraid and excited about what this will teach me this year.
So….that’s what’s been happening in my life........ What’s alive for you? I genuinely always want to hear:) Update me if you want!
PS. I have only 3 spots left for my Emotional Power workshop next Sunday, so get your butt signed up if you want to be there! I'm thinking of offering this same workshop soon via Zoom so that those who don't live by me can take it. If you are interested in this, please let me know!

Comments