Buried in snow...
Up until a few days ago, I was being buried in snow. The paths I’d carved around my house started to look like tunnels, the snow was taller than me in the back of my home and over 2 feet in the front under my tree where I get the least snow. For the last few days, it’s been warm and all of the snow is melting fast. It’s a whole different world than it was a few days ago.
I am committed to being a snowbird next year. Since the breakup, I’ve been examining if this is how I want to be living, and the answer is no. I want to be more seasonal, to leave Montana in the deepest part of the winter, to have different workshops, retreats, and places that I return to again and again throughout the year.
I’ve gotten tastes of this over the last few years. Getting to assist with a retreat once a year, traveling back and forth to California to see clients, and doing different trainings throughout the year.... I can feel how it is possible.
This wanting my life to be different, and meeting how it is, is a daily softening for me. I want to hold my desires as moving, fluid fuel inside of me, and not something that keeps me from being in my life right now, right here.
I want to enjoy and savor my days and dream and build something different. Both. And.
In order to do this I have to soften my forehead, my chest, my belly. I have to keep meeting the parts of me that are heartbroken over the life “I thought I was making.” And also give space to the parts of me that are thrilled that I am making a life that is more beautiful and true than that one ever could be.
I can feel a shift in the energy this week, a forward-moving momentum that has been quiet since the beginning of the year. I like to follow the natural rhythms of my body and the earth, it’s not always easy, and society doesn’t make it so. But I liked the slow quiet these last 2 months, and I can feel something starting to stir, buds that are under the soil that are beginning to make their way toward the surface.
There is a new moon this week, marking the beginning of eclipse season. I can feel the transformational energy starting to crackle inside of me. We will see what happens in these next few months…..
That’s what’s alive for me, Wild One. What’s alive for you?
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